Strangers on a Plane

One of the best conversations I have had in a long time was last night on a three hour flight from Houston to Salt Lake City.

Last weekend, I was down in Texas at my little tiny house I rent when I am working down there – no family, no Murph, no college football, nothing I wanted to read, so with nothing to occupy my unsupervised time, so I started surfing the web.

I ran across a tweet by Taylor Lorenz, a genuinely mentally ill columnist with an interesting career history, who remarkably is still employed by the Washington Post, and the tweet was about how insensitive people were to attend some social event where Tay-Tay was present without wearing a mask.

Didn’t they know how dangerous that was for Taylor’s health?

I cannot believe they did not because she writes about it a lot.

A few weeks ago, Libs of TikTok posted a video of Taylor dancing at the Pornhub awards event while wearing a mask.

I began to poke around and found all these videos and articles about masking and the more I read and watched, I came to understand there is an entire community united by masking out there. There was one dude who was interviewed for an article who had such an aggressive respirator-like mask strapped to his face, he looked like Bane from the Batman comics.

He aggressively condemned people for their selfishness in not protecting others and that made me realize these people are zealots who would force all of us to wear a face nappy if they had the power to do so. I began to wonder what drives them because while they would use that power (if they could), for most it did not seem about power at all.

So, what drives them?

Last night I gleaned a little unexpected insight.

I flew home to spend a little time with my wife and family and the gate area at IAH was full (a lot of flights arriving and leaving at the same time) and scanning the landscape, I noticed a fair number of people wearing masks.

I found an open seat at the gate and after a few minutes, a genuinely nice lady asked if I minded if she sat down in the seat next to me. I looked up as I said “Please, have a seat” and noticed she was wearing a M95 mask. I am guessing she was educated and in her early thirties by the way she spoke and was dressed and from what I could see of her hair and face, she was well kempt and attractive.

Her first action was to whip out some disinfectant wipes and wipe down the seat, then she carefully sat down and pulled a travel sized bottle of Purell from her purse and massaged some into her palm – then she offered some to me. I deferred as I excused myself to head to the restroom for a pre-flight pit stop. When I returned, someone else was occupying my seat, and it was close enough to boarding time, I just moved closer to the gate to stand.

I boarded the plane and sat down in 3C, an aisle seat, only to hear a familiar voice say, “Well, we are seatmates again! I am in 3D.” It was Diana, the lady with whom I had briefly shared oxygen about half an hour ago.

I am not much of a talker on flights – mainly because you never know how the person next to you will react. Some are gracious but reserved, some look at you like you are a registered sex-offender, and some will never stop talking (I learned that last one on a flight from Seattle to Seoul a long time ago), but Diana was genuine and affable, so we picked up where we left off.

As she mechanically went through the same steps of disinfecting her environment as I witnessed in the terminal, she looked back and seeing me watching her, she said in a lighthearted voice on a scale somewhere embarrassment and resignation, “Don’t worry, I’ve never had Covid, am vaccinated, and I have no other communicable diseases!”

Smiling, I said, “I’m not worried.”

After we got airborne and the obligatory “Are you leaving home or going home?” questions were asked and answered, I felt comfortable enough to ask, “If you don’t mind me asking, what about the mask?” She smiled though her eyes and replied, “Nobody has ever had the courage to ask me that, but I’ll tell you if you tell me why you don’t wear one.”

“Deal,” I replied. “Let me start.”

“I do not wear one due to math and actual science, not “science” (yes, I did the air quote thing). Once I learned the virus was smaller than any mask material could reasonably be expected to block, and a sneeze carried so many aerosolized droplets containing substantial viral loads, I reasoned that statistically enough could penetrate the material to get into my respiratory system. I also looked around at people wearing everything from gaiters, to bandannas, and poorly fitted Chinese masks made from paper napkins and rubber bands to realize that these were all placebos – that 99% of the people were fooling themselves about being protected. Plus, they were really hot, nasty and uncomfortable – people kept pulling them down to wipe the sweat and spittle off their faces…”

“Did you get vaccinated?” she asked.

“I did. I got the first round of Moderna in March and April of 2020. The data did not support it, but I did it because my father-in-law was fighting an aggressive form of cancer and we wanted to visit him. I figured if there was even a miniscule chance it worked, I did not want to expose him. I never got “boosted” because it soon became clear that it did not work to prevent infection.”

“Well, I’ve been boosted several times because if you get it, it is not as bad.”

“I can understand taking that position early on, but after a few years of this, I am sorry to say there is absolutely no evidence of that, simply it is because that is unknowable. It is impossible to prove or disprove something that did not happen.”

“Yes, I guess that is true,” she said.

“Now it is your turn,” I said.

“I did not worry about it much when Covid started in 2020 I was living in New York City. After a while I had friends and family who contracted it, some even died. My grandmother caught it and made it through, but she was never the same. She is fine now, but somehow seems more reserved and frailer than before. I saw work friends put on respirators, not many, but some – and a few of them died. It was then I started wearing a mask.”

“So, was it because you didn’t want to catch it or because you didn’t want to spread it?”

“A little of both, I guess. I began to see reports of how people could be asymptomatic but still carry the virus.”

“Humor me here, and I’m not trying to be an ass…”

“No, I would NEVER assume that!” she interrupted, smiling under the mask (I could tell by how her cheeks expanded the edges of the mask).

“OK. OK. Have your moment!” I chuckled as I continued, “but I am genuinely curious whether you would say that your decision to wear one was based more on logic or more on fear.”

A pensive pause followed before she replied, “I have never really thought about it because it was so common when I was in New York. But looking back and thinking about it now, I would like to say it was logic, but based on what we know now, I would have to say it is a habit that began with fear – for me and for others.”

“I could tell that was tough. Your entire body really tensed up - and if you do not know, when you think really hard, you have little furrows on your brow. I could tell you were struggling with what to say.”

“My Botox is supposed to take care of those furrows.”

“Well, if it is any consolation, they were cute,” I said.

“Good. My doctor will be pleased to hear that.”

“So now that we have determined that it is fear, and that fear might just be irrational, what are you thinking now?” I asked.

“You know, Michael, I do not know but what I do know is that I have some things to think about. You are making me realize that I am sacrificing things that I maybe should consider not giving up.”

Our exchange was silenced as the ding echoed throughout the plane, followed by the announcement we were beginning our descent in to the SLC Airport. I could tell she was thinking, so I did not push the conversation forward.

As we pulled into the gate and parked, I turned back to her and said, “Diana, may I ask you for one more favor - and this one is fully in your power to grand or dismiss?”

“Sure,” she replied. “Shoot.”

“May I see your face?” I asked.

She went silent and turned her head away. I was afraid I had pushed too far until I noticed her left hand going to her ear. She was removing the band holding the mask to her face.

She turned back to me and smiled.

I was right, she was extremely attractive with a smile that would melt steel.

“Thank you,” I said. “The world is filled with ugliness; it deserves as much beauty as it can get. I would never ask you not to wear a mask, that is your decision, but I am greatly appreciative that you granted me this favor.”

“You are most welcome, and I must admit, not wearing it feels pretty good, but I’m not completely convinced I can stop wearing it.”

“Well, in my opinion, and as hard to believe it is based on the three hours you have known me, I can be wrong, but I would say you need to take a second look at the evidence and decide for yourself if that is enough to overcome your fear.”

“I think you are right, Michael. I am going to remember this conversation for a long time.”

We stood together for a few moments after we entered the terminal and I said, “Just remember, there is rational fear and irrational fear. You must decide which yours is.”

She extended her hand and I took it, acknowledging we were about to part, she to a connecting flight, and I headed for the parking bus. I watched her walk away to see if she went for the Purell.

She didn’t.

Chances are I will probably never run into Diana again, or even find out if that was her real name, but I have to say, this was one of the most enjoyable conversations I have had in a very long time.