A friend allowed me to view a documentary of sorts about a legendary coach (who had coached he and his brother) that will debut tonight at a celebration of the legacy of that coach.
That event caused me to think about coaches and people in my own life who had been part of tipping points, changes of direction for me. Many of those influences are so subtle that I am able only now to see them in retrospect, but there were some significant aspects of all of them.
For me, as a Mississippi farm boy, growing up in the 60's and 70's, sports were always secondary for me - chores and work around the farm came first. I might get to spend a couple of hours a day at football, basketball or baseball practice but when I got home, I still had to tend to the needs of various animals and during the summer, would often wind up in the garden, hoeing, picking purple hull peas or butterbeans - or getting the vegetables prepared for my mom to can.
I began to wonder which one of those experiences, sport or work, made the most difference.
Then I thought about how a transition had been made over the years from kids who worked in or out of the home after school and played sports to kids who just play sports, with parents filling up their schedules with sporting activities until there was no time left.
When you think about it, that is a pretty big cultural change. True excellence in sports only rewards a few - those with the talent, skills, strength and drive to stand above the rest. At least in my time, only the best were recognized as such and only the winners got a trophy - but due to a conversion to emotional reasoning over the years, we came to be a society where the best were still rewarded but everybody got a trophy, too, even the kids who, pardon my French, sucked. Even if you sucked or blew your assignment, you still were on the team and sport became an activity where winning was no longer the goal, having fun and making sure everybody got a turn at the plate was the expected outcome.
Equity, in other words - equal outcomes.
From my freshman year in high school until I was a senior, I worked 15 hours a week (after school and on Saturday morning) at a local auto parts store, cleaning, stocking inventory, delivering to the local shops and working the front counter - and I still had work to do at home after that.
Work was different. Everybody could do something. From physically demanding work to cleaning the bathrooms, there was an opportunity for every kid to earn money, and no matter the kid, there was always an opportunity to move to jobs that carried larger responsibilities - and usually increased compensation, especially work outside the home. You got paid for performance and if you didn't perform, you got fired.
Equality, in other words - equal opportunity.
Parents like to lay the blame on schools for how our kids are turning out, but when you begin to retrospectively examine the small things that have changed, a slightly different picture emerges.
I'm not saying that parents are singularly to blame - Hell, my wife and I fell into that same trap. What I am saying is that reality of experiences matter and kids of my generation who worked were far better armored than the kids today who are sold fairy tales as facts and truth.
Sports taught me how to be part of a team, work taught me the value of individual effort.
I still cannot say which was more important, but I think the answer is that both, in balance, were far better than either alone.