The Value of a Life Well Lived
When we struggle with our place in this world, we do well to remember we should always judge ourselves by our own standards, not those imposed upon us.
I think most people are like me, my life, in terms contemporary society would apply, is largely inconsequential in the grand scheme of things they think are important - just another cog in the grand machine of life (actually, not even a cog, maybe a tooth on a cog!).
I'm not good looking, particularly smart, famous, rich, or influential.
To many, that means I am a nothing, a nobody. No doubt, some see me as a fool.
But I see it differently.
My life is not and never has been defined by the desire to be liked or the things I do not have, rather it is measured by the things with which I have been blessed that I had no expectation of receiving.
I've had a career marked with advancement and opportunity I would never have expected when I was running barefoot though the red clay hills and creeks of north Mississippi. I have seen things, done things, and met fantastic people all over this wonderful and awful world - from the hardscrabble of Mississippi to the opulence of Dubai - and everywhere in between.
I have seen the good and bad in people, in societies, in religions and in governments. I've seen excess and poverty, sometimes only separated by a few miles. I have met people from whom I had no expectation only to be treated with immeasurable kindness and have been disappointed by those whom I elevated beyond their capacity with high expectations.
I have often felt out of place only to learn that I was right where I should be.
I have a loving and (very) patient wife of 42 years (as of August 15th), three great, responsible, and competent children, a close extended family, a small group of very close friends.
I have been blessed with good health, played sports all my life - excelled at some, not so much at others - have run marathons, biked thousands of miles, survived running up a couple of mountains testing my endurance, played shortstop, batted leadoff and cleanup, played shooting guard and small forward, played wide receiver, and returned kicks. I got down to a 7 handicap on the links and won a couple of tennis tournaments - a couple of these made the local papers once or twice, only to be beaten out in fame by some genetically anomalous vegetable or the winner of the greased pig catching contest at the Union County Fair - but other than that, most were forgotten the day after the game and live only in the nostalgic "glory days" of my mind.
I escaped all that pretty much injury free. I did have a knee replaced, but my ortho doc says my osteoarthritis is at least partly genetic (my mom and dad both had it). Let's just say that operation was in payment for a half century of fun and competition.
I have a solid personal reputation, something which I have guarded jealously my entire life. That's not to say I haven't made mistakes, but I have always tried to rectify and reconcile when I have.
I am at peace with God and even though I would like 30 or 40 more years of producing carbon dioxide just to piss off the enviroweenies, but if I was called home tomorrow, I would be ready to stand before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
By my standards, I have achieved, and intend to continue to pursue, a life well lived - which is probably more than those who would consider my life inconsequential will ever do. Most of them inflate their lives by deflating the lives of others.
I post this, not as an attempt to self-aggrandize, it is as a result of a conversation with another person who was expressing discouragement with their life to date, someone far younger than me, but someone who is measuring their life by the standards and expectations imposed by others.
I just wanted to remind everyone within my reach that if your life is like mine, it matters. It is consequential and it should always be measured by your own standards, not those of someone else.
My greatest accomplishments are measured in the safety, security, and happiness of my family, not my career.
That is the message I gave my young friend and I hope they take it to heart, and if you have faced, or are facing, these same questions, that you do as well.
Remember, it is people like us, not our self-anointed judges, who keep this country on the rails and moving.
We are the real achievers. We are the glue that holds it together. We matter. We are consequential.
Hope your friend finds solace in your encouragement.
Peace starts with your soul, a means to an end.
Grateful to be standing on your platform.
I was the first person in my immediate family to go to college. I always knew that learning was a very important aspect of life. In the beginning, I wanted to "change the world." I wanted to see a world that was more "just" and even, "fair to all." After sometime had passed, I realized the best way to do so was not via some grand insight, invention, medical cure, etc.. but. rather to do so one on one with the people I was lucky enough to share space and time with.
This was such a dynamic change. I felt a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I have lived with this mantra for decades and the results have been satisfying, at least to me.
Sounds like you have had a wonderful life. Thank you for sharing and reminding me to focus on the people who matter the most to me.