The Pedro Promise

Vote for Pedro and he will make your wildest dreams come true.

I guess I have not been listening to the left too closely—actually, that isn’t true because I do listen closely, I just haven’t been listening seriously.

Conservative and other right-wing pundits say the left, in its current form of the Democrat Party, has no message—but they do, and while it is impossible to deliver on their promises, there are many willing ears to hear and believe it is possible they might be true.

The message?

It is the same as when Napoleon Dynamite ran Pedro’s campaign for class president.

Vote for Pedro and he will make all your wildest dreams come true.

The Democrat Party is the real-world version of Pedro:

Give us power and we will make all your wildest dreams come true.

Are you a man who wants to be a woman?

Done. We can legislate you into existence. We’ll even pay for the maiming of your body to your specifications. Don’t worry, we’ll just call it “healthcare” and everybody will be cool about it—even if you are in prison (especially if you are in prison).

Are you unsuccessful and looking for someone or something to blame other than yourself?

We can do that. Billionaires are at fault, not you. The got to be rich by taking the money that was supposed to be yours.

Don’t think you should have to work to provide for yourself because you have other things you would rather do?

We can make that happen with Universal Basic Income. If you are important enough to us, we might even set you up in a sweet NGO and fund your asses off with free taxpayer money (and if we don’t have any, we’ll just borrow it).

Don’t like what people are saying about you?

Free speech is just so, so dangerous. We will call it disinformation and make it illegal. If they post it on social media, we will visit them and maybe even arrest and charge them for offending you.

Suffering from a lack of self-control, maybe feel like perpetrating a crime?

No worries, we won’t call what you do a crime because crime was invented by the rich to keep you down so we can just ignore it (or if you are a protected class, we can call it reparations) and if anybody opposes us, we can put them in jail.

Like to get high?

We can make your drug of choice legal or just ignore your usage and provide you with a convenient addict kit, whatever you need.

Come from a culture where women are second class and being rapey is OK?

Hell, we can ban anyone from saying anything about your “culture”, so not to worry.

That’s the message of today’s left, both in word and deed.

Be what you want to be without consequence. We got you covered because we will just keep jacking up taxes on the productive, law abiding, normies to pay for it all. You are an oppressed person from an oppressed culture, so there are no crimes. Like, what are the normies going to do?

We’ll tell you.

Nothing.

Nothing is what they will do because we control all the institutions that invent, fund, execute and support making your wildest dreams come true at the expense of people who see us for what we are.

I know this all sounds like invented rhetoric but each one of these points is based on something that has happened in the US, UK or Europe in the past couple of years. The UK Daily Mail just reported on two stories, one where a white Englishman was sentenced to 18 months for an “offensive” social media post that was viewed a total of 33 times and another where a “migrant” was charged with rape of an underage girl and was treated with leniency due to “cultural differences”.

Never underestimate the seductive power of the Pedro promise. It doesn’t matter if it can come true, for many the mere promise is enough.