Machine Gun Kelly

If William Kelly didn’t exist, we would have to invent him.

“All the people in this church, they’re all living comfortable lives while children are dragged into concentration camps…”

I know it seems he is a bit over the top and is sort of a “made for MSNBC” agitprop caricature, but when I watched the videos of William Kelly, the bearded, wild-eyed, anarcho-communist, rent-a-radical (he is already over 50K in his GoFundMe beg) yelling at white people in that St. Paul Church as mothers cradled their children in protection, I saw an amalgamation of every progressive I have ever encountered rolled into one.

And yes, I understand that anarcho-communism means being for communism and against statism is a contradiction, but contradictions apparently are not a thing in 2026.

Suppose you have a dude (totally theoretical, of course), let’s say his name is Jimmy (completely made up and in no way resembles anyone living or dumb), who confesses to holding a Ph.D. in Philosophy from an elite university and works on the assembly line at the local philosophy factory in his hometown, cranking out hot takes on Focault (plus he plays the keyboard as a side-hustle), would you suppose he would share Kelly’s views?

Of course you would. Under the skin, Jimmy the Philosopher and William Kelly are one and the same. They are all BLM, ANTIFA, and Democratic socialist all rolled into one.

Kelly entered the sanctuary of Cities Church in St. Paul during worship and accused the church and its congregants of being complicit in harm, telling them they were “pretending to worship” while people were being hunted, detained, and deported, asserting that their comfort came at the expense of others’ suffering as he declared “All the people in this church, they’re living real comfortable lives while children are dragged into concentration camps. So, if we disturb their Sunday? Oh no! Nobody should have comfort right now while our immigrant communities are afraid to leave their houses.”

He charged that the church supported or sheltered people connected to ICE and therefore was part of a system that terrorizes immigrant communities, told congregants they were “pretend Christians” whose faith was performance without justice—yelling things like “You’re sinners; you’re pretending to be Christians” and berating them as “comfortable white people”—warned that neutrality amounted to violence, insisted they should not look away or hide behind prayer while children were being taken from families and locked up by the state, framed those detentions as moral atrocities indistinguishable from historic abuses, and repeatedly led or reinforced chants demanding ICE be removed from communities such as “ICE out,” concluding that activists would continue showing up in places like the church until people stopped pretending they did not know what was happening, later ranting post-arrest about figures like Kristi Noem being a “domestic terrorist” and urging Americans to stand up.

The irony of the manufactured outrage is so thick, you can cut it with a knife. Talk about being hoisted on your own petard - Kelly is Monty Python’s Dennis the Peasant on a triple load of ketamine, Kratom, and bath salts. He’s ready to eat the face off the next person he sees.

Of course, because Kelly sort of tipped over the cauldron of progressive beliefs so everyone can see the nasty bits at the bottom, he is being stealthily disowned by the progressive Democrat left, mostly because his persona embarrasses them (they know it hits too close to home and lays bare a bit too much of their agenda), but if you don’t watch the video and just listen to the audio, you hear what pretty much every member of the socialist (and communist) wing of the Democrat Party is saying.

Y’all be honest. You see it, too, don’t you?

I’m sure I’m not the only one who sees Kelly as the perfect avatar for mindless progressivism.