I have always said that while we fight for prosperity, prosperity can be a disease and it is a disease of generations never having to face the fires of Hades in a fight for survival, that leads to an unrealistic perspective of life. The current blizzard of precious, special, Gen Z snowflakes was created by such a historical period where hardship is defined as not getting Taylor Swift tickets, not having the latest iPhone or suffering with slow Internet.
I’ve told this story before, but many years ago when my boys were reaching driving age, their anticipation of the car we would get them was, how shall we say, elevated.
They were in school in Park City where it was not uncommon for the wealthier parents to cough up a Mercedes or some sort of upscale SUV for their kids (a lot of them were crashed or dented withing a few months). My wife and I drove nice, newer vehicles, mostly because we drove longer distances to work or had jobs where we needed to be at work every day because we had people depending on us. We reached a point where we had to explain to the kids, they were going to get a reliable car, fit for purpose, but it wasn’t going to be new or a Maserati. We helped them understand that we only have the home, vehicles, and other nice things we did because their mom and I had been working for over 20 years. Neither of us started out with the type of vehicles we have now. My wife didn’t get a car when she got her license, and I got a $500 1965 Chevy Impala.
They were also mildly shocked when we told them that when they did get a vehicle, we would take care of the insurance, but it was up to them to pay for gas, tires, and upkeep.
My grandparents taught my parents to live a simple, Christian life. That's what my parents taught me, and what my wife's parents taught her. We taught our kids that, too. We were taught to live according to the Golden Rule and the Ten Commandments and always question whether something was a need or want and if it was a need, to procure the highest quality widget you could afford.
Of course, due to the increasing standard of living and expanding opportunities, each generation of our family had things the last generation didn't, but we were taught never to make a show of our good fortune for others to see – and we didn’t. We had nice things, took nice vacations, and great opportunities but my parents worked hard for what they had. It was never for show, it was always to make life better for my brother and me, always directed toward giving us a better start when we ventured out on our own.
The disease of prosperity bites hard when kids have unrealistic expectations of their parents and the world, leading to disappointment rather than a sense of pride. When kids begin to measure their worth by what others have, it creates an environment of failure when they are forced to learn that you must work for those things rather than have them given to you. It also results in adults burying themselves in debt to create the façade of the big house, the ski boat, the toys, the F250 turbodiesel with matching toy hauler and an ATV for each member of the house, but it is all illusion.
I think it is interesting that self-storage business sector is one of the fastest growing. We chase so much stuff, we need to rent spaces to store stuff we either rarely use or eventually wind up forgetting what we have. That should tell us something about how screwed up our priorities are.
I see it in the younger kids I know today, very few of them have after school jobs or work in the summer. Mom and Dad foot the bill for cars, hand out large allowances and generally become slaves to the kids, thinking they are doing good for them.
I don’t see it that way.
There is a strong rationale for living a simple, Christian life.
I don’t mean that you shouldn’t have a nice house, nice things or cool rides, but those things should be secondary to teaching your kids what is important in life rather than painting everything in thin coats of bright colors. Spending time with your sons and daughters, teaching them how to be strong, independent, honorable men and women is far more important to your family and the world than working overtime so you can buy that Mercedes your daughter wants for her birthday.
Teaching children it is good to be proud of their success, but a little embarrassed and humbled by it at the same time, is not a bad thing. I think that keeps the kids in check, their lives firmly based, learning to be happy and thankful for their wins, never jealous or envious of the successes of others, and to be prepared for the losses, learning something when things don't go as they planned.
I think this recipe makes it easier for everybody, including the kids, to be happy.
My first car was a big tank of a car, as my parents thought it would be safer. My dad cosigned the loan, but I paid for everything including insurance. Dad was a driveway mechanic and kept the car tuned as he did all the cars in the family. But when parts were needed, unless dad had a spare laying around, I spent my money.
Teaching children the value of a hard day's labor and therefore the resultant value of the wages they were paid for that labor is a most excellent and needed approach to their well-being. Money does not grow on trees is an old saying that might have been forgotten in these more modern generations, but I can tell you all, that long term wealth is not built by buying the daily 5 and 10$ latte's and driving new 50-thousand-dollar plus automobiles.
My wife and I have been married over 4 decades and over that time we have had many cars. Only 4 of those cars were new, and most of them we bought when we were young and ignorant of the use of money. Since about the 90's we have only bought low mileage used cars, paying a lot less, still having style while we got from point A to point B.
BTW we were both able to retire by the time we were 60. And through it all we were happy and thankful. Teaching kids today about money/finance should be a 'must take class' in school curriculum.
My 2 cents
How I was raised and how I've raised our kids, and helped with the grandkids.